How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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