girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
