Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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