come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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