The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
