Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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