I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
