people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
