Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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