from now on my penis is your penis
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
