just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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