How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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