I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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