the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
