just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
