So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
