yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
