well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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