it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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