Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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