I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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