North Korea, Best Korea!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
