Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It's shark week go big or go home
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
