I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
