wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
