You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
