best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Randomize
