Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
