Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
