I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
babies were throwing up all over the place
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
