I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
