even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
