I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
