I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
