Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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