My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
