He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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