marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
