did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The Olympian is in my bed
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