Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
