Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
