I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
