I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
