ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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