Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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