how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
