You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
