Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
