I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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