and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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